Giving Thanks and Babies

This Thanksgiving I got to spend much time with two little ones.  One, just turned one and is taking her first steps... 8 consecutive steps at our house thrilled her grandparents because it had been the most she'd taken to-date.

The other little one is our oldest daughter's friend's first child.  He's almost two months old. 

I thoroughly enjoyed time with the house hustling and bustling with guests of all ages... and I especially loved time with the little ones.

I've always been "good with kids."  That's part of the reason why I've enjoyed being mom so very much!!!



In the midst of enjoying these sweet babies whom we celebrated with great anticipation their arrival, as well as each and every milestone they continue to achieve,  there is a little one, because of her mother's estrangement we don't have permission to celebrate. 

I've contemplated various "celebrate her life anyway" ideas... donating gifts "in her honor" to various crisis pregnancy organizations... I just can't get worked up about doing that, yet. 

Love Blocked, Healing the Adopted Heart

Patty Stanger's show the "Millionaire Matchmaker" is one of my not-so-secret-anymore television indulgences. 

I don't tune in regularly... but occasionally, when Bravo is running a string of her episodes back to back on a day I've chosen to spend too much time hugging the couch, I really enjoy tuning in. 

I'm a huge fan of love.  I love to pray for people to find "the one" and I love weddings! 

I fell in love with my high school sweetheart... married my prom date... this year my sweetie and I celebrate 30 years of wedded bliss that had it's first sparks oh-so many years ago in a 1980's roller disco.  Spandex, big hair, and the love of my life.   

It turns out Patty is adopted.  I've been impressed with how seemingly well adjusted she is, how successful she is in business.  I'm impressed, but not surprised.  As I've been trying to understand our adult-adoptees' choices, I've read LOTS about adopted adults.  I've read that many adoptees go on to do very well in their business lives, and tend to be kind of loners with a long string of short or shallow relationships in their personal lives.   

On Patty's show, as she's searched for information about her birth parents, she talks about feeling "blocked" from love, and she believes it has something to do with being adopted.  She's taken bold and public steps to heal that blockage.  So very good for you Patty!!!!!!

I'm guessing Patty probably doesn't have Reactive Attachment Disorder, however, I'm not surprised to hear that "adoption issues" still plague her as an adult. 

The same things I pray for our own adoptees, I'm praying for Patty.  I pray her wounded heart heals... I pray she can find Love, I believe Love has presented Itself to her many times throughout her life... I pray she will heal to the point where she can believe there really is Love out there for herself... I pray she will work to heal the wounds that lie and tell her she is unworthy of Love. 

I'm grateful for Patty, and other brave adoptees who share what their perception of life is like for them on the adult side of their life's journey as an adopted child... 

Looking Forward

What a delight it is to have things to look forward to!!!!!

Hubby and I just returned from a month and a half of traveling, and the anticipation of the getaway was almost as delightful as the actual get away itself!

For our 29th anniversary we decided to cruise Canada's St Lawrence Seaway in search of fall colors.  We left our home in the land of balmy palm trees and sandy beaches and headed towards what we don't normally get to enjoy in the comforts of our own home.

The cruise was DELIGHTFUL!!!!    Our ship left Manhattan and we sailed north.... I got the biggest kick out of sitting on our boat deck and watching our ship's pool and curly yellow slide pass under the Varazanno bridge.  I was thrilled to watch as Lady Liberty wished us a bon-voyage. 

As we returned to the ship at the first port we visited, I noticed the ship's crew at the welcome center all using their electronic devices.... "Hmmm... free wi-fi?" I wondered. 

I put my phone into wi-fi mode and was pleased to see messages trickle in.  It was there that I got the next RAD punch in the gut.  Oh this really seems to be a life-long journey.  A concerned individual sent me the ultrasound our 3years estranged RAD had posted.  We're going to be grandparents.

I am the kind of person that is always happy to hear about babies.   Abounding joy was not my first reaction. 

I've heard "Baby-Daddy" has three other kids by other women.  This is his fourth... her first. 

I know people from my generation who have been "tied" to their child's "other parent" in much less than joyous scenarios. 

I know the heartache of raising children whose "first parents" were not there for them. 

I have no idea what this generation's multiple "baby-mommas/baby-daddies" is like.

Well... that's not true... my sister-in-law at 15 met a 40 year old man at the teenage hang out who had a very successful line "In my country you are considered a woman, not a child!"  It worked on about six different 13-16 year old girls who also carried his children.  (God knows how many never conceived!!!!)

I know my nephew is a very broken individual.  He grew up in a town full of his half-siblings.  We saw him go through the "where is my daddy, why does he hate me?" He's spent the first decade and a half of his adult life floating between jail and rehab.  His mother has always used men for all they could give her then thrown them to the curb.  My heart breaks for my nephews over the more than subliminal message that my sister-in-law keeps showing her sons of what men are good for.

Broken people... having broken people... having broken people... Hubby's sisters are all half-sisters... their bio dad died of cirrhosis of the liver mid 40's.  They each have their major issues. 

ugh... I was so much happier focusing on the positive... thinking about our beautiful trip, and all the loving family and friends we got to see!!!!  

We spent the full month after the cruise visiting family... so very wonderful!!!

Many of those we visited will be visiting our home very soon.... I not only have to unpack... I have to get ready for their arrival. 

I'm smiling again with anticipation!!!!   I think I'm going to make some countdown calendars for our various visitors arrival... 

God please help me to focus on the positive!!!!

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Baby Mommas

I've heard our estranged daughter's BF of several months is a big guy...

This is one of the first ones she's not fallen in love with his mother, then proclaimed before dating he is the one she will marry.  So that's a change of pace. 

She's going up to where MY family and My in-laws live to meet his family. She wants him to meet our family as well. Officer RAD has invited the gullible ones to meet her man. 

(Can our family be "her" family if she's ONLY related to them through us, and she's disowned us?)

Turns out there's a couple Baby Mommas in this guy's life. 

"But supposedly he's a good dad... he tries to stay in contact with his three kids."

REALLY... I'm happier not knowing.