Merry Christmas Y'all

Merry Christmas to all my friends (who read this... and even those who don't!)

And Happy New Year!!!!

We've been busy with my brother's family visiting... which is always so nice!!! His two are still so young, but growing quickly and we always have such fun seeing them and playing with them.  We were just at their house before Halloween.  After we left the little one was reported to have said repeatedly he "ONLY" loves me and my hubby.   Ha ha.  Nice to know some kids find us loveable! 

The two little ones were at first quite shy of our new puppy, but the older one warmed up quickly.  When we all met at a nearby amusement park, the little guy told us our dog was mean because he kept kissing him.  Awww... maybe next visit our puppy will be less kissy faced.

This is such a busy time.  I'm not missing Facebook at all.  I'm glad to have closed it!

During a Christmas party we saw a friend, grandmother to many little ones... I think she told me her latest count is 7.  She still has a little one at home herself.... her baby is 10 or 11 years old.  She asked how "things" were going with our estranged kids.  I told her the older of the two is transforming us into grandparents while estranged.  This friend told me quite emphatically I "NEED TO FIGHT" for my rights to see that grandchild!!!  That grandchild NEEDS her grandparents. 

We pray for our kids, and our newly developing granddaughter.  I will not "FIGHT' for my rights to see any of my grandkids.  Sorry.  It's not that they're not worth it.  It's not that they don't "need" our love.  It's that RAD is Mom... and Mom is RAD.  

The only fight I find worth fighting regarding our RADkids is on my knees. 

Meanwhile on the still-estranged-sonny-delight front, our oldest called and shared her frustration, she had reached out to give a heads up that Christmas greetings were on the way and found out from her estranged from us brother's wife that they had moved... and noone told her... and he's deployed... and didn't tell her.  I encouraged our oldest that in ANY relationship, where communication is less than she'd desire or where she'd like to be treated differently in any manner, it is perfectly appropriate to speak up and let her desires be known.  I told her she's not doing anyone any favors to secretly stew about how she's perceived mistreatment.  She asked how things worked in my siblings and my adult relationships.  I explained that all families are different.  It seems most often women are more likely to try and keep in touch.

With My siblings Mom has always been the central connection for address updates, deployments and various tidbits of interesting sibling activities.  We do connect on our own, but rely on hearing summaries of activities from Mom.  Naturally some siblings stay in contact more with some than others.  We also have a cool first cousin that started annual family address updates.  I really appreciate that labor of love.  It keeps us up-to-date on not only addresses, but birthdays, and children and pets and as they have come along grandchildren.

I explained to our oldest that non-communication from her estranged-from-us adopted brother and his wife is not necessarily a snub... and the best way to let anyone know what we'd like in any relationship is to speak up. 

RAD the gift that keeps giving

This is our 3rd Christmas since RAD attacked.  3rd Christmas since RADs have chosen to be estranged. 

RAD daughter is a local officer, employed by an ex-boyfriend's dad (currently embroiled in a police-above-the-law scandal.) 

Somehow RADdaughter's "pre-screening" employment requirement of interviewing the parents who raised her got waived, so they didn't get to hear about how she tried to jump out of our moving car because she heard voices telling her to... nor that she has a medical history of mental illness. 

Anyway.  Hubby saw Officer RAD in the line of duty directing holiday traffic yesterday.  First face-to-face viewing since she had him arrested.  (She enrolled in the local community college to become an officer AFTER she made her false allegations.)

Does anyone out there notice how RAD digs in their heels to defend their misbehaviors and mistakes, yet apologizes profusely for things that don't ever need to be apologized for?

To-this-day I'm certain our daughter will go on a long rant about how much she detests ketchup because one night at dinner when she was young she obviously accidentally said "please pass the mustard for my fries."  She never detested ketchup, nor even liked mustard until she made that honest mistake.  Ugh... rabbit trail... reeling the point of the post back in...

This is our FIRST Christmas since RAD attacked that we will be in OUR house for Christmas... home to decorate and celebrate.  I have been JOYOUS about pulling out the decorations.  It has not been as painful for me as it has been for my dear husband. 

He sobbed when we put up the snowman soft sculpture that I gave as a gift one year to represent him and our three kids playing in the snow.  "Do they ever miss me?  Do they ever think about the GOOD times we had?  Are they sorry?  Are they hurting as deeply as I'm hurting?" 

*heartache*  I cry not because I miss them... I cry because of the deep pain they KEEP CAUSING the people I love so very much... and I include the RADs on that list as well... their illness in full bloom is destroying the sweet loveable, capable-of-loving  kids I knew once upon a time. 

I don't recognize who they've become.  I'm grateful they're keeping their distance while filled with so much hate and spite.  I miss the kids we raised... I don't recognize who they've become.  I have never seen the RADs soooo deep in their illness... ever! 

Well, yesterday after hubby waved to RAD officer, she first texted our non-rad to "get dad's number" and was able to miraculously call him before she responded.  The significance of this is lost on people who don't know RAD.  It's her sick manipulations... slick, sly, deceptively charming, manipulative, able to appear innocent, and look the victim... why do I respond  with so much apprehension... because I know RAD... adoptive moms are the ultimate target of most RAD attacks. 

Officer RAD called my hubby while he was in the store and asked him to stop by on the way out.  He did.  He has been so very eager to see our kids... to hug them... to let them know they are loved. 

He's such a tender awesome loving man.  So very generous.  Where love is concerned is is willing to be so very vulnerable. 

He came home reporting that our RAD daughter is "so very sick!"  He was talking about her multiple delusions... and how twisted her brain is... and how he didn't want to upset her... she was working... so he just let her talk and didn't counter her delusions.  He said she was trying to triangulate him against me, but he saw her efforts and wasn't buying into it.  He said he suggested that she consider attending family counseling with us, when she is ready. 

He said she didn't apologize... for anything... instead she was defending with absurdities, accusing, and defending...

I can't help but wonder if she had the squad car filming her accusations and hubby's non-defense (to imply agreement with her insanities)

I'm NOT paranoid... I've raised RAD to adulthood.