Showing posts with label RAD behavior. Show all posts
Showing posts with label RAD behavior. Show all posts

Sunday, January 22, 2012

RAD Damages the Cause and Effect Reasoning Part of the Brain

Everything I've read about RAD says the early trauma (primarily between conception and age three) that causes Reactive Attachment Disorder "damages" the "cause and effect reasoning" part of the RAD affected brain. 

I keep seeing that damage more and more evident as our estranged Adult RAD keeps making more and more dangerous choices. 

I know from parenting her...

When she doesn't "get it," she just doesn't get it. 


So often she doesn't easily recognize what would be obvious "red flags" of DANGER to most others.

Her self chosen estrangement as a young adult with Reactive Attachment Disorder is not as cheery and problem free as it might appear to those caught in the trenches of parenting young RAD, daydreaming of getting a break once their little RADs embrace adulthood and FINALLY move out. 

For our RADs...

RAD is still RAD. 

Our inhibited one, pretty much has dropped off the face of the planet and is living his "happily ever after" as the son his friend's parent's never had.  He, from time to time, becomes quite his older-half-bio-disinhibeted-RAD-sister's puppet.  When she's not pulling strings... he's completely uninvolved. 

The "disinhibited" one keeps pushing us away, yet keeps orchestrating stunts to involve us remotely through family she has disowned, but tries to triangulate against us. 

Many of our adoptees RAD symptoms appeared to lay dormant during the "ten beautiful years." 

The symptoms have awakened...
...and the "grown up" version is worse than we ever saw in when our RADs were little. 

So there's brain damage,
and typical symptoms of their particular brand of mental illness.
Please don't think for a minute RAD is stupid.  Academically, our RADs achieved numerous honors in their post-homeschool education.  Our RADs can easily memorize and regurgitate facts that have been presented to them. 

Where our "disinhibited" RADdaughter especially has difficulty is deducing cause and effect... understanding how her choices affect her circumstances. 

Our adoptees' illness, RAD, helps our adoptees manipulate situations so they always appear the victim. 

One might think, as masters of manipulation they'd easily recognize when they are being manipulated.  We've not found that to be the case. 

When it comes to endangering themselves... it seems the damaged cause and effect reasoning part of their brain frequently prevents them from seeing impending danger and "natural" consequences that follow their chosen actions.

Well... RAD orchestrated quite a whirlwind this past week. 

Or she was manipulated into it. 


She managed to be involved in quite possibly criminal activity surrounding a crisis that took her on a whirlwind trip from (less than 15 minutes from our current home) where she lives and works, to more than 1,000 miles away (smack-dab in the middle of where our extended family lives.) 

She invited some of the more gullible people in our family (interesting, they are the ones she despised most as she was growing up) to meet her for a social visit in the middle of this very shady whirlwind trip. 

Our bio-daughter warned the gullible family members to beware of appearing to be involved in the very shady, very dangerous exchange. 

I fully doubt our RAD daughter would have been tempted to fly in "as an emergency" be a part of a similar very shady and dangerous sounding "rescue" had it taken her 1,000 miles away from all our extended family. 

It's RAD. 

I  doubt our RAD daughter sees the shady/dangerous part of it all. 

It's RAD.  It's that damaged cause and effect reasoning part of the brain thing. 

I sincerely doubt our Reactive Attachment Disordered daughter would be a willing participant in what she fully UNDERSTANDS to be illegal activity. 

I believe even as skilled a manipulator she is, the damaged cause and effect reasoning part of her brain prevent her from being fully aware that others are manipulating her into very dangerous situations. 

There's the part of RAD that is "eager to please" strangers.  I've seen the masks they wear wanting to be all things to all people. 

It's as if they're screaming to the world...
"I'll do whatever you want me to as long as you love me... you see... my parents never loved me!"


There's different kinds of people out there in the big world...

...some that will hear RAD's cry and take them in and "shelter" them from the parents who have lovingly been present, seeking the best for their children, and enduring much at the hands of their disease...

...some that will see  RAD's vulnerability and exploit it as much as they can benefit from it...

... my favorite people are those who see through RAD's masks and encourage the RAD afflicted to seek healing, and seek restored relationships the parents who have only ever loved them.


As loving parents, we continue to pray for intervention... whatever it takes for our daughter to be safe and healed. 

Whatever it takes for her to be safe and healed. 

Whatever it takes.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

"Forever Family"

Once upon a time my husband and I dreamed of adoption... all my adoption related dreams were all so-very-happy.

My husband and I were thrilled when our adoption dreams came true!  Sure!!! The early years were difficult!!!  There was a diagnosis in 1995 for our brand new daughter... "Reactive Attachment Disorder with Hypervigilance."  (16 years later and I still almost never find others using the specific wording our 6 year old's psychiatrist MD used to label our new daughter's mental illness...) 
The first three years were CHALLENGING to say the very least, but we were young and so-very-optimistic... and things in our family... in our home became so very beautiful!!!

We had a minimum of 10 beautiful years before the most severe living nightmares began... 
These days I go to sleep... 
I have nightmares 
about our once-upon-a-time
"dream children"...
I wake up... 
the real-life nightmares continues. 

I had nightmares again last night... all dream-sequence-absurdities that so very clearly sum up the real-life nightmare we have been living in the years since our RAD's started approaching "legal adulthood." 

I grieve... such tremendous grief!!!

It is so absurd... because...

I am grieving the living!!!!

I buried the ONLY earthly father I have ever had this year.
.

The ONLY  mother I have ever had is now his widow.
 .

Both are my biological parents.
.


My six biological siblings and I were raised by both of them, together.
.

 Had Dad lived a few more months...
Mom and Dad would have celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary this month. 
                                                           
Dad and I have always had a reciprocal loving relationship.

What a wonderful thing it is 
to be confident in love! 


Dad and I 
have always been 
part of 
a    REAL  
"Forever Family."

In Dad's "last years" our bio-daughter frequently commented with admiration how my Dad was loved and respected by MANY ...and looked up to as a "father figure" to so many fatherless individuals.

 ***
Certainly there is pain and grief regarding loss of my beloved "Daddio" here on earth!
                                                           
Yet,

the pain related to my father's death

is not nearly as 
deep
and as  
cutting

as the depth

of  
pain
and  
grief

related to our adult RADs' "RAD-typical" rejection of us.


"They" 
(adoption promoters) 
PROMISED us 
and our "new" kids that
we would be  
"Forever Family."

My definition of "Family" is directly related to my experiences.  
My kids draw their definition of  "Family" from their experiences. 
I believe one of our biggest problems
in our relationship with our adult adoptees is  
we've had different experiences.



I can't imagine going through life without the foundation of my Mom ALWAYS being my Mom... and my Dad ALWAYS being my Dad. 

I never had my parent's friends... "friends of the family" attempt at ANY LEVEL to "save me" from my biological parents... not from the chores they assigned, nor from the loving and healthy rules they had established for me.  No couple ever offered to become my "new mommy and daddy" once I was over 18.  (not before I was 18 either... not ever!)

We prayerfully hope one-day our RADaffected adoptees will be able to have loving reciprocal relationships.

And while we wait... 
my husband, bio-daughter, and I 
remain heartsick!!!!!!!!!!!!

 .
.
.
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
      But
when the desire comes, it is a tree of life."
-Proverbs 13:12

Monday, June 13, 2011

RAD Desiring Family Presence? or Family Presents?!!!!

Our older still-estranged-RAD unblocked me again on Facebook. 

That doesn't mean she's my FB "friend"  it just means I can see what she posts on mutual FB friend's sites.  While "blocked" she was invisible.

Well... her activity is interesting...

She's and "friending" and playing innocent-kissy-face with our relatives she historically has NO interest in...

It makes little sense to me because she is only related to these people through us, the parents she denies (and hasn't seen since she filed false allegations of abuse charges almost 2 years ago.)

I suspect she may be trying to rustle up some family presents (not family presence) for her half-bio-RAD-brother's second wedding... the formal one.

Well... 
she may actually 
want extended family there... 

it would look bad 
in photos 
if she were 
his only relative.



Maybe she's not bright enough to do such a thing...
                                       maybe she's just messing with my head.

I hate that I don't think
her motivations are
inspired by rainbows
hearts, unicorns 
and "warm fuzzies."