Monday, November 7, 2011

Flashback to the beginning

I  was reading how many parents to RAD find their RAD afflicted children don't handle "owning" many things well.  Many adoptive parents of RADkids find their new child is most at peace with little-to-no belongings, at least until they settle in. 

I flashed back to the very beginning of our adoption experience.  We WANTED to give these kids the world.  We tried to give our new kids everything they had lacked... They just couldn't handle it!   Frequent tantruming and destruction is what ensued when owning items (fun items that normally delight young children) would overwhelm our RAD diagnosed daughter. 

Each of our three "new" kids came to us with one brown paper grocery bag partially filled with all their worldly possessions.  (Including all their clothes!)

It turns out the foster family "our new kids" also sent along several bags of "kid-stuff" that our "new kids" said wasn't theirs.  Our new kids' social worker explained the prior foster family wouldn't need the items any more.  Three months with our kids caused that foster family to retire. 

We were told after having "our kids" for three months... the elderly couple decided they'd give up foster care for good... they had only been doing it for a couple of decades. 

Our new "special needs sibling group" of three children, 13, 6, and 2 1/2 had just disrupted from an adoption placement three months prior to joining that foster family... and after three months of our "new kids" in that veteran foster family's home was enough to shut them down... for good.  They were no longer interested in fostering.  They were done. 

Does every adopted child have Reactive Attachment Disorder... I really don't believe so. 

I do think it is highly likely for individuals separated from one or both bio-parents to have "attachment issues" but I believe attachment issues are not full-blown RAD.

Attachment issues are quite different from Reactive Attachment Disorder. 

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