This is our 3rd Christmas since RAD attacked. 3rd Christmas since RADs have chosen to be estranged.
RAD daughter is a local officer, employed by an ex-boyfriend's dad (currently embroiled in a police-above-the-law scandal.)
Somehow RADdaughter's "pre-screening" employment requirement of interviewing the parents who raised her got waived, so they didn't get to hear about how she tried to jump out of our moving car because she heard voices telling her to... nor that she has a medical history of mental illness.
Anyway. Hubby saw Officer RAD in the line of duty directing holiday traffic yesterday. First face-to-face viewing since she had him arrested. (She enrolled in the local community college to become an officer AFTER she made her false allegations.)
Does anyone out there notice how RAD digs in their heels to defend their misbehaviors and mistakes, yet apologizes profusely for things that don't ever need to be apologized for?
To-this-day I'm certain our daughter will go on a long rant about how much she detests ketchup because one night at dinner when she was young she obviously accidentally said "please pass the mustard for my fries." She never detested ketchup, nor even liked mustard until she made that honest mistake. Ugh... rabbit trail... reeling the point of the post back in...
This is our FIRST Christmas since RAD attacked that we will be in OUR house for Christmas... home to decorate and celebrate. I have been JOYOUS about pulling out the decorations. It has not been as painful for me as it has been for my dear husband.
He sobbed when we put up the snowman soft sculpture that I gave as a gift one year to represent him and our three kids playing in the snow. "Do they ever miss me? Do they ever think about the GOOD times we had? Are they sorry? Are they hurting as deeply as I'm hurting?"
*heartache* I cry not because I miss them... I cry because of the deep pain they KEEP CAUSING the people I love so very much... and I include the RADs on that list as well... their illness in full bloom is destroying the sweet loveable, capable-of-loving kids I knew once upon a time.
I don't recognize who they've become. I'm grateful they're keeping their distance while filled with so much hate and spite. I miss the kids we raised... I don't recognize who they've become. I have never seen the RADs soooo deep in their illness... ever!
Well, yesterday after hubby waved to RAD officer, she first texted our non-rad to "get dad's number" and was able to miraculously call him before she responded. The significance of this is lost on people who don't know RAD. It's her sick manipulations... slick, sly, deceptively charming, manipulative, able to appear innocent, and look the victim... why do I respond with so much apprehension... because I know RAD... adoptive moms are the ultimate target of most RAD attacks.
Officer RAD called my hubby while he was in the store and asked him to stop by on the way out. He did. He has been so very eager to see our kids... to hug them... to let them know they are loved.
He's such a tender awesome loving man. So very generous. Where love is concerned is is willing to be so very vulnerable.
He came home reporting that our RAD daughter is "so very sick!" He was talking about her multiple delusions... and how twisted her brain is... and how he didn't want to upset her... she was working... so he just let her talk and didn't counter her delusions. He said she was trying to triangulate him against me, but he saw her efforts and wasn't buying into it. He said he suggested that she consider attending family counseling with us, when she is ready.
He said she didn't apologize... for anything... instead she was defending with absurdities, accusing, and defending...
I can't help but wonder if she had the squad car filming her accusations and hubby's non-defense (to imply agreement with her insanities)
I'm NOT paranoid... I've raised RAD to adulthood.
RAD daughter is a local officer, employed by an ex-boyfriend's dad (currently embroiled in a police-above-the-law scandal.)
Somehow RADdaughter's "pre-screening" employment requirement of interviewing the parents who raised her got waived, so they didn't get to hear about how she tried to jump out of our moving car because she heard voices telling her to... nor that she has a medical history of mental illness.
Anyway. Hubby saw Officer RAD in the line of duty directing holiday traffic yesterday. First face-to-face viewing since she had him arrested. (She enrolled in the local community college to become an officer AFTER she made her false allegations.)
Does anyone out there notice how RAD digs in their heels to defend their misbehaviors and mistakes, yet apologizes profusely for things that don't ever need to be apologized for?
To-this-day I'm certain our daughter will go on a long rant about how much she detests ketchup because one night at dinner when she was young she obviously accidentally said "please pass the mustard for my fries." She never detested ketchup, nor even liked mustard until she made that honest mistake. Ugh... rabbit trail... reeling the point of the post back in...
This is our FIRST Christmas since RAD attacked that we will be in OUR house for Christmas... home to decorate and celebrate. I have been JOYOUS about pulling out the decorations. It has not been as painful for me as it has been for my dear husband.
He sobbed when we put up the snowman soft sculpture that I gave as a gift one year to represent him and our three kids playing in the snow. "Do they ever miss me? Do they ever think about the GOOD times we had? Are they sorry? Are they hurting as deeply as I'm hurting?"
*heartache* I cry not because I miss them... I cry because of the deep pain they KEEP CAUSING the people I love so very much... and I include the RADs on that list as well... their illness in full bloom is destroying the sweet loveable, capable-of-loving kids I knew once upon a time.
I don't recognize who they've become. I'm grateful they're keeping their distance while filled with so much hate and spite. I miss the kids we raised... I don't recognize who they've become. I have never seen the RADs soooo deep in their illness... ever!
Well, yesterday after hubby waved to RAD officer, she first texted our non-rad to "get dad's number" and was able to miraculously call him before she responded. The significance of this is lost on people who don't know RAD. It's her sick manipulations... slick, sly, deceptively charming, manipulative, able to appear innocent, and look the victim... why do I respond with so much apprehension... because I know RAD... adoptive moms are the ultimate target of most RAD attacks.
Officer RAD called my hubby while he was in the store and asked him to stop by on the way out. He did. He has been so very eager to see our kids... to hug them... to let them know they are loved.
He's such a tender awesome loving man. So very generous. Where love is concerned is is willing to be so very vulnerable.
He came home reporting that our RAD daughter is "so very sick!" He was talking about her multiple delusions... and how twisted her brain is... and how he didn't want to upset her... she was working... so he just let her talk and didn't counter her delusions. He said she was trying to triangulate him against me, but he saw her efforts and wasn't buying into it. He said he suggested that she consider attending family counseling with us, when she is ready.
He said she didn't apologize... for anything... instead she was defending with absurdities, accusing, and defending...
I can't help but wonder if she had the squad car filming her accusations and hubby's non-defense (to imply agreement with her insanities)
I'm NOT paranoid... I've raised RAD to adulthood.
3 comments:
Oh, afterward our bio-daughter called to see how we were after the encounter.
I explained Dad was doing well... he was happy to see her... I was sick to my stomach and trembling.
Bio had asked what I wanted for Christmas... she had been suggesting I read a book she found called "Coming Home to Self" about adopted adults... I asked her to get me that.
She told me she understood my pain and terror, because she read in that book that adoptive moms are almost always the target of the worst behaviors...
I am so very grateful for all my kids, however currently I'm grateful the loving one is in close contact... and equally grateful the hate-filled ones are keeping their distance.
Kinda wishing the RAD that momentarily made contact yesterday had kept her distance!
Are you tempted to sabotage the Officer's job? It would scare me to know that my RAD child had a gun and control over other's lives. I have done everything I can to keep them both from getting driver's licenses. I want my children to succeed, but I can't stand the thought of them ruining the lives of others. I'll be honest, if I could have my son sterilized I would.
Mary
Have you ever thought about sabotaging Officer's job? It would scare me to know that my RAD child had a gun and was responsible for people's lives. I have done everything I can to prevent them from getting driver's licenses. I want them to succeed, but I can't stand the thought of them devastating other people's lives. I'll be honest, if I could have my son sterilized I would.
Mary
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