Yesterday,
seated behind my hubby at lunch, there was a woman and two young boys
(about 10 years old?) I assumed they were mother and sons.
One
kid pretty much had his face to the plate and was gobbling his food.
The other one was so sweet... so attentive, so sincere, communicative,
from time to time he'd offer his mom a taste of something she had asked
about on his plate. I got teary... remembering when my son was in "the
beautiful years"
Billy noticed me tearing up and asked what
was bothering me... all I could choke out was "I'll tell you in the
car" 'cause I was on the verge of the big ugly cry.
Hubby goes into "surveillance mode" looking for any of the usual faces
of betrayal (who we knew via the church we raised the kids in) that might be in our midst... he says "oh, I see... is that
Lisa over there?" Nodding toward the large woman with curly blonde hair
and glasses...
Just a few seconds before hubby thinks he's
solved it... directly behind my hubby... facing me, is the charming distraction that drove me to the brink of sobbing. The boy says loudly and clearly "My mom NEVER
packs me any lunch!"
I tell my hubby "No, it's not Lisa...
oh and Crisis Averted" and in one second I go from choked up to giggling
the sad giggle with the realization that the "charming little boy" was
probably more like our son than I ever realized!
Part of me wants to go back through the beautiful years, now that I
UNDERSTAND the diagnosis of RAD so much better... and realize how sick
they probably have always been... while I was blissfully ignorant.
Part of me is so very grateful to have been clueless!
2 comments:
Oh, and he finished up with dessert. "Do I eat jello with a fork or a spoon? ...I don't know how to eat jello!"
For those of you who know RAD manipulations... you'll realize the significance...
For those of you who do not YET understand RAD... you'll think "poor starving child who has never had the good fortune to taste jello... what a horrible mother he must have!"
I say "yet" because I continue to hope that the world will be educated about Reactive Attachment Disorder... just like seemingly a few short years ago almost no one had heard of Autism.
Yikes. I can only imagine what my poor fragile 18yo ds is telling people about his misfortune of growing up in our family. I can seriously see him smiling his huge, off-kilter grin and thanking someone ever so much for their kindness since he's never had a real meal in his life or a real blanket or a real hug. I can't even let my mind go there now that I know the truth. I think ignorance can be bliss....
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