Can you believe there are friends who don't know we've adopted?
Man.
For a while there it seemed the "common issues" of adopting traumatized children out of fostercare would forever be all consuming.
Life does go on.
I was chatting with a friend recently.
Innocently she brought up how a newly adopted child she knew was FLOURISHING in the new family... how she hoped the child appreciates all the sacrifices this kind hearted family has made to positively impact this young life pulled out of a dung heap.
I got misty-eyed. Not at all a big ugly cry kind of thing. Just misty.
My friend asked if I was okay. Had she offended me? If I ever need to talk... Etc.
I told her my heart breaks for that family. I told her it turns out there's many adoption related issues that arise when children are adopted out of trauma. Yes, indeed the child's life has been positively impacted. Yes the child needed to be taken out of the dung heap. Yes indeed the new family's sacrifices are worthwhile and making a remarkably tremendous positive impact in the child's previously traumatic life... But unfortunately it's quite likely the child will grow up to despise the family that will lavish love health and healing in that child's direction for the rest of their days.
My friend looked at me with a puzzled expression.
You know we adopted a special needs sibling group... Right?
She honestly had no idea.
I explained our adoptees' "special needs" are mostly psychological resulting from their traumatic origin. All adults now. All doing far better in adulthood than their family of origin... Well... All Except for one... It's a long story.
Sorry, yes, I do agree the child is flourishing. That family is really blessing that child.
Man.
For a while there it seemed the "common issues" of adopting traumatized children out of fostercare would forever be all consuming.
Life does go on.
I was chatting with a friend recently.
Innocently she brought up how a newly adopted child she knew was FLOURISHING in the new family... how she hoped the child appreciates all the sacrifices this kind hearted family has made to positively impact this young life pulled out of a dung heap.
I got misty-eyed. Not at all a big ugly cry kind of thing. Just misty.
My friend asked if I was okay. Had she offended me? If I ever need to talk... Etc.
I told her my heart breaks for that family. I told her it turns out there's many adoption related issues that arise when children are adopted out of trauma. Yes, indeed the child's life has been positively impacted. Yes the child needed to be taken out of the dung heap. Yes indeed the new family's sacrifices are worthwhile and making a remarkably tremendous positive impact in the child's previously traumatic life... But unfortunately it's quite likely the child will grow up to despise the family that will lavish love health and healing in that child's direction for the rest of their days.
My friend looked at me with a puzzled expression.
You know we adopted a special needs sibling group... Right?
She honestly had no idea.
I explained our adoptees' "special needs" are mostly psychological resulting from their traumatic origin. All adults now. All doing far better in adulthood than their family of origin... Well... All Except for one... It's a long story.
Sorry, yes, I do agree the child is flourishing. That family is really blessing that child.
