"Fertilizer" Happens!

Years ago when the "sh!! happens" bumper stickers started popping up all over the place, I became convinced that NOTHING is wasted in God's economy... even sh!! is used for fertilization... and eventually makes good ground for growing. 

I wanted to market "Fertilizer Happens" bumper stickers. Still do!

Hubby and I were anxiously anticipating how "the holidays" would go... our first year "alone" and...

...we're having fun... which is awesome!!!

We do have micromoments of sadness for the choices our RADs continue to make... but we don't get to make their choices, they do... we are responsible for keeping our hearts tender and forgiving through it all... which at some moments is easier said than done... but well worth the efforts.

Here we are our 4th "Holiday Season" since RADs melted down.  4th holiday season of estrangement from them by their choice.  We can see so very much more clearly how God is using the "fertilizer" to grow us in His love and to bless us with friendships so much deeper than the "fair weather friend" variety.

This morning (New Year's Eve) as I'm counting my so many blessings, I'm blown away how God has used horrific circumstances to abundantly bless us!!!

I was remembering the story of Corrie Ten Boom being in Nazi concentration camps thanking God for infested unlivable conditions, and later seeing exactly how the unlivable conditions she had thanked God for was being used to bless them.    <=  Read it if you have time... get tissues.

All my "horrible moments" combined don't compare to what Corrie and her sister encountered in that passage alone.  Their God inspired hope in the midst of hopeless circumstances have certainly inspired me and countless others.

One nickname I have (from high school referring to a traumatic head injury) helps me to remember that it continues to be my prayer to praise God in ALL circumstances... because He is worthy.   When that nicknaming injury happened I literally fell down (from the weight of the blow) praising God.  I was a relatively "new" believer back then... and I continue to earnestly pray "Lord, WHATEVER happens, help me to be confident in Your promises that You love me, You intend to bless me, no weapon formed against me shall prosper, even what an enemy intends for my harm You will use to bless me... Lord, help me in the midst of traumas that knock me off my feet to fall down praising you!"

What a gift it is to be confident in God's love for me!!!!

If you are not YET confident that God loves you... my prayer is that as you read this, your heart would get a glimmer of the TREMENDOUS love the God of all has for you personally!!!! 

Hope and Love

I've been consoling myself with the fact that our love for our adopted children has not been wasted... that because Love is eternal...  We have invested well, we continue to invest well... even if our adoptees don't have the ability to love us on this side of eternity.  Our continued investment of Love is one of the eternal treasures we will not loose as we pass to the other side of eternity. 

We began to really understand RAD better after our adult adoptees' "conjoined meltdown" as we read the books published years after the diagnosis that our now-adult adopted daughter was given just as she was placed with us for adoption. 

 Regarding RAD, I was educated after my kids were raised to adulthood, that Love is not enough... by Nancy Thomas... 

When Love Is Not Enough: A Guide to Parenting Children with RAD  was the first book published for parents raising Attachment Disordered.  It was published three years after our RAD daughter was "officially diagnosed."  It's one of the first books I came across in trying to understand what was going on in the minds of our beloved adopted adult children. 

Love may not be enough... but it's necessary, it's eternal, and we have invested well. 

I've read that "Attachment Disorder" often grows up to be "Borderline Personality Disorder."   From what we've experienced that could very well be the case for our adult adopted children. 

One of the first parenting BPD books I read was titled When Hope is Not Enough by Bon Dobbs. 

I'd been feeling kind of hopeless about hope.  Three years into the insanity of adult adoptee RAD/BPD manipulations/triangulations... hope doesn't "seem to be" working much. 

Most nights as we tuck in, Dear hubby reads us a short devotional from In-Touch Ministries.  The verse about a week ago was from "The Love Chapter" of the Bible. 

1 Corinthians 13:13
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

How had I possibly forgotten the fact that Hope is eternal????!!!! 

I was instantly encouraged.  Hope is eternal!  Our continued investment hope for our adult adopted children IS NOT WASTED.  Even if we never see on this side of eternity fruit of our invested Hope and Love. 

Faith, Hope, and Love remain... They're eternal.

We have faith in God's promises.... and we continue to invest well.