Our Lovingly Attached and Healthy Bio-child

We are so very blessed to have a lovingly attached and healthy bio-child.  We are so very grateful for her!!!!!!!  As a successful young adult, she lives many states away.  We have managed to enjoy each-others company in-real-life far more frequently than I ever imagined possible with the oh-so-many-miles that separate us!!!!

In-between our awesome visits, our bio-daughter calls and texts regularly.  Her calls are not just "hi/bye" methods of checking in... when she calls she wants to TALK to US. 

She LOVES us!!!

We laugh and have a ton of silly jokes that we share amongst ourselves.  Such delicious silliness based on fun times we've shared together!!!!  In most cases they're "you had to be there" kinds of jokes that keep us giggling for a lonnnnng time afterwards!!!!!

Some days she calls for advice, 

some days she wants to vent,

or run her perspective of options before she finalizes big decisions. 

Some days she calls just 'cause she misses us.

She wants to share with us what's happening in her life.  She loves us. 

Oh what a joy it is to be loved!!!!!

Our bio's most  recent calls have been about how the Lord is surrounding her with people who are asking about her faith and are flat out asking if they can go to church with her.  Our daughter has always been strong in her faith... but has never been "preachy" and she's not ever invited those who are asking... they are asking her.  
Our bio-daughter tells me she doesn't understand how or why people from so many very different parts of her life keep asking her about her faith.  

From our bio-daughter's point of view the years since our young-adult-RADs attacked our loving family have been her worst-ever crisis of faith.  

She could not imagine how the Lord would allow such horrible things to be done to our family... not only by our RADs, but by the "christian" community she grew up in.  

She does recognize the attack by "the church" is not God-ordained.
 
Our bio-daughter sees how the Lord is faithful to His Word...  
giving beauty for ashes.

People from so many different parts of her life keep asking very specific questions to find out more about The Light our bio-daughter carries within... (and shines so very beautifully!!!!!)... even in the midst of RAD inflicted adversity... as very real pain pushes our daughter even more deeply into God's loving-embrace, those witnessing her pain-filled-journey-of-faith are likewise being drawn to her Source of comfort.

A trampled rose 

gives off a the sweetest fragrance. 

"The breaking of the alabaster box and the anointing of the Lord filled the house with the odor, with the sweetest odor. Everyone could smell it. Whenever you meet someone who has really suffered; been limited, gone through things for the Lord, willing to be imprisoned by the Lord, just being satisfied with Him and nothing else, immediately you scent the fragrance. There is a savor of the Lord. Something has been crushed, something has been broken, and there is a resulting odor of sweetness. --Watchman Nee"

A Heart for the Adopted

When we were blessed with our first child (by the miracle of birth) we prepared her to welcome the children that would "someday" join our family by the miracle of adoption.

(Hubby and I had "the call" to adopt long before we met each-other!)

Our oldest has been a joyful part of our adoption experience... every step of the way!!!

She GIVES herself wholly to love her siblings.

She had, with us, waited and prayed for them many years before they arrived.

She was equipped, ready and WILLING to share EVERYTHING... even us! 

She never faltered not for a minute. 

Fast-forward to adulthood.

Our oldest has been seriously dating someone... she cares deeply for him. 

He is adopted.  

He "has issues."

Our daughter is being so patient, so encouraging, so healing towards him.
I remain THOROUGHLY impressed.  
I have wrestled with the concept that our "selfless love" and
"patient endurance" may have taught her that love accepts abuse.
I would hate for that to be the case!!!!

BUT...

...Oh! 

How I would love

for people 

to surround

our adopteds

promoting their 

wholeness, 

healing,

well-being!!!!

As our family STILL remains reeling from our RADs "RADtypical" attack against us...

Here is our beautiful healthy-lovingly-attached daughter... 

...extending her heart to "one of their kind.  " 

Our oldest has explained to me that she has been praying for her spouse from the time she was a small girl.  She has always thought it be important that whomever it would be SHOULD "understand adoption" because she has always wanted whomever she would commit her heart to to be able to "understand" her siblings.  (She does not say this young man is "the one" but she does think he may be a contender...)

Our oldest and her beau are currently "on a break" right now... because she explains he is overwhelmed... it is not that they don't care for each other.  From what she describes part of what is troubling him sounds like he wants to step up... to do better... be better... live better...  for her... AND he is seriously doing "the work" to get well.  He feels the need to have time away to "work on himself." 

That impresses me. 

She tells me her desire for someone who understands adoption  has been a desire many years before our Adult RADs had their conjoined meltdown.   She met him just a few short months before our RADs melted down.  

At first I was quietly screaming at God to protect her.

I don't want a life of heartache for our oldest!!!!!!

She has already sacrificed so much for her siblings... endured so much because of their illness. 

But I've been praying God's best for all my kids. 

I would love to believe that ALL of my kids would be "God's best" for a special someone. 

I would hate to have my adopted two... the RADs... rejected because of their Reactive Attachment Disorder.

I want someone committed to love them... the way their big sister always has.

Our RADs have good qualities too.

At least I remember delightful times with our delightful children... We've had AT LEAST Ten Beautiful Years of joyous memories with our adopted children!!!!

We haven't seen our adopteds in almost 2 years.

Our most recent memories of life with those children ARE the most painful ones!

I miss our sweet beautiful kids... I haven't seen them in years.  

Meanwhile... I'm still praying for God's absolute best!