When we were blessed with our first child (by the miracle of birth) we prepared her to welcome the children that would "someday" join our family by the miracle of adoption.
Our oldest has been a joyful part of our adoption experience... every step of the way!!!
She GIVES herself wholly to love her siblings.
She had, with us, waited and prayed for them many years before they arrived.
She was equipped, ready and WILLING to share EVERYTHING... even us!
Fast-forward to adulthood.
Our oldest has been seriously dating someone... she cares deeply for him.
He is adopted.
He "has issues."
Our daughter is being so patient, so encouraging, so healing towards him.
I remain THOROUGHLY impressed.
I have wrestled with the concept that our "selfless love" and
"patient endurance" may have taught her that love accepts abuse.
I would hate for that to be the case!!!!
As our family STILL remains reeling from our RADs "RADtypical" attack against us...
Our oldest has explained to me that she has been praying for her spouse from the time she was a small girl. She has always thought it be important that whomever it would be SHOULD "understand adoption" because she has always wanted whomever she would commit her heart to to be able to "understand" her siblings. (She does not say this young man is "the one" but she does think he may be a contender...)
Our oldest and her beau are currently "on a break" right now... because she explains he is overwhelmed... it is not that they don't care for each other. From what she describes part of what is troubling him sounds like he wants to step up... to do better... be better... live better... for her... AND he is seriously doing "the work" to get well. He feels the need to have time away to "work on himself."
That impresses me.
She tells me her desire for someone who understands adoption has been a desire many years before our Adult RADs had their conjoined meltdown. She met him just a few short months before our RADs melted down.
At first I was quietly screaming at God to protect her.
I don't want a life of heartache for our oldest!!!!!!
She has already sacrificed so much for her siblings... endured so much because of their illness.
But I've been praying God's best for all my kids.
I would love to believe that ALL of my kids would be "God's best" for a special someone.
I would hate to have my adopted two... the RADs... rejected because of their Reactive Attachment Disorder.
I want someone committed to love them... the way their big sister always has.
Our RADs have good qualities too.
At least I remember delightful times with our delightful children... We've had AT LEAST Ten Beautiful Years of joyous memories with our adopted children!!!!
We haven't seen our adopteds in almost 2 years.
Our most recent memories of life with those children ARE the most painful ones!
I miss our sweet beautiful kids... I haven't seen them in years.
Meanwhile... I'm still praying for God's absolute best!
(Hubby and I had "the call" to adopt long before we met each-other!)
Our oldest has been a joyful part of our adoption experience... every step of the way!!!
She GIVES herself wholly to love her siblings.
She had, with us, waited and prayed for them many years before they arrived.
She was equipped, ready and WILLING to share EVERYTHING... even us!
She never faltered not for a minute.
Fast-forward to adulthood.
Our oldest has been seriously dating someone... she cares deeply for him.
He is adopted.
He "has issues."
Our daughter is being so patient, so encouraging, so healing towards him.
I remain THOROUGHLY impressed.
I have wrestled with the concept that our "selfless love" and
"patient endurance" may have taught her that love accepts abuse.
I would hate for that to be the case!!!!
BUT...
...Oh!
How I would love
for people
to surround
our adopteds
promoting their
wholeness,
healing,
well-being!!!!
As our family STILL remains reeling from our RADs "RADtypical" attack against us...
Here is our beautiful healthy-lovingly-attached daughter...
...extending her heart to "one of their kind. "
Our oldest has explained to me that she has been praying for her spouse from the time she was a small girl. She has always thought it be important that whomever it would be SHOULD "understand adoption" because she has always wanted whomever she would commit her heart to to be able to "understand" her siblings. (She does not say this young man is "the one" but she does think he may be a contender...)
Our oldest and her beau are currently "on a break" right now... because she explains he is overwhelmed... it is not that they don't care for each other. From what she describes part of what is troubling him sounds like he wants to step up... to do better... be better... live better... for her... AND he is seriously doing "the work" to get well. He feels the need to have time away to "work on himself."
That impresses me.
She tells me her desire for someone who understands adoption has been a desire many years before our Adult RADs had their conjoined meltdown. She met him just a few short months before our RADs melted down.
At first I was quietly screaming at God to protect her.
I don't want a life of heartache for our oldest!!!!!!
She has already sacrificed so much for her siblings... endured so much because of their illness.
But I've been praying God's best for all my kids.
I would love to believe that ALL of my kids would be "God's best" for a special someone.
I would hate to have my adopted two... the RADs... rejected because of their Reactive Attachment Disorder.
I want someone committed to love them... the way their big sister always has.
Our RADs have good qualities too.
At least I remember delightful times with our delightful children... We've had AT LEAST Ten Beautiful Years of joyous memories with our adopted children!!!!
We haven't seen our adopteds in almost 2 years.
Our most recent memories of life with those children ARE the most painful ones!
I miss our sweet beautiful kids... I haven't seen them in years.
Meanwhile... I'm still praying for God's absolute best!
1 comment:
I completely understand how you feel about your firstborn. Our firstborn daughter, our oldest, also wholeheartedly supported our decisions in adopting but it is hard watching your family hurt and be attacked. But she is getting married in Oct., to a godly man who is willing to learn about our kids even though he has no clue what to think! He trusts and adores my daughter and for that we are all blessed. You keep blogging. There's comfort in the pain we all share.
Post a Comment